The Gay Guy Chronicles: Sex, Dating, and Life with a J-Pouch

Hello Fellas, and possibly Ladies.


 I welcome anyone to be part of this conversation, but don't want to offend any ladies, or underage folks, so with sincere consideration, ask that you please know that I'll be discussing all of the 'in's and out's' of gay life in this post.  There- you have been warned.


This post is to reach out and somewhat share my experience as a gay man living with a J-Pouch. A little about me- I am 33, Had my J-Pouch connection surgery in October 2007, so I'm an 11 year proud member of the J-Pouch  club. I had UC for my entire life until I had surgery, and now Im fully back in action. I had relatively zero issues following surgery, and almost carry a bit of survivors guilt from not having any issues whatsoever. I may have had pouchitis twice, but that is about it.  I have been able to eat anything (just with extreme caution for spicy spicy foods, due to burning) and have a full active healthy life.

Now for the gay 'Sex' part of this post... for anyone who is uncomfortable discussing the male anatomy in terms of sexuality, I advise you to look away now! You've been warned again!


I, as a relatively attractive gay guy, have  a rather active sex life. I always have. As I hope most anyone who wants one has.  As a gay man, I've always naturally been a top. I'm dominant, aggressive, and its always fit my personality quite nicely.  I did bottom only 2 times before I had my surgery, and now that I have a J-Pouch, bottoming is not only out of the question, but its nearly impossible- mainly because there is no pleasure sensations down there for me to enjoy prostate stimulation whatsover. I am assuming this is common with everyone else. I had a colonoscopy (or in our world 'pouch-scope') recently, and it took all of 5 minutes, and got the 'all clear' from my doctor. So I have nothing really to complain about.  It's just that I am curious, if anyone at all has explored trying to bottom since surgery? My surgeon advised strongly against it. And I've not even tried practicing with a small 'toy' to open my up, because I am just frankly scared to even try it.

 

Fast forward, a couple months ago, starting dating a guy who enjoyed (for lack of better words) 'eating my ass' during sex. I was scared to let him at first, and then he assured me that he wanted to regardless of my insecurities, he loved it, and I derived some intense pleasure from it. However, I am very insecure about allowing someone to do that, because as a J-Poucher, I have to poop like 4 times + a day now, so I have developed some small external hemorrhoids or 'external piles' that are not the hottest thing to look at, and I feel self conscious about them. I am totally content living the rest of my life knowing I'll never bottom again, and have to be grateful that I am healthy which is my main priority in life. However, I was curious, do any of you guys share this same insecurity or thoughts?  I mean, now the older I get, I just want to feel like I don't want to die without experiencing the FULL circle of life, including a sexually fluid physical ability that allows me to do with my body what I wish, although I fear my anatomy will prevent it, sadly.

 

Don't get me wrong, I am not upset or anything about this, but would like to have a larger conversation about this, and any other issues as Gay Men that we probably all share, believe it or not.

 

In my experience, the partners I've had have all been cool with it, but it is something I would like to talk with you guys more about.Heath Daws Pic

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Thanks for this post! As a woman, I have been advised strongly against anything, even a finger going into my rectum so I am steering clear for the integrity of my pouch--I don't want to mess around with that delicate, altered anatomy. But, I do also get self-conscious about having sex sometimes because of the pressure sensations with sex and worry about leakage. I know as a gay man your experience is different but wanted to reassure you that I am sure most people have some insecurities at times with sex and sex play---as does everyone. With that said, I think that if you found you are comfortable with your partner enough to enjoy oral sex in that area---that is wonderful! I would be very cautious about taking it further because of the risk of possible injury  

Happy to hear you are healthy and enjoying life (and sex!) 

Thank you so much Julie, I appreciate your reply! You are probably right, risking it is just not really worth it- and I would imagine everyone has the same ''err on the side of caution'' perspective on it too, as no one would want to risk being responsible for inducing their own additional health issue. 

I'm 100% bottom here. The decision for a total colectomy, even while dying from UC, was difficult for me as it effectively ended my sex life. I was recently with someone and I did allow them to use their finger, but I couldn't relax for fear that I might leak, or something was going to be torn, etc.

In the end (no pun), everything was fine. I've been told I have a long. . .uhh. . . anal canal (not sure the correct medical terminology). I'm not sure if that is a real thing, if it makes any difference, but mentally at the time, I kept telling myself everything is fine, they aren't even reaching my surgical spot.

I hope to try that again sometime, but full on sex is never going to happen again.

 

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