Scoobshags: I appreciate your input! And I agree somewhat in the comment about loosing some of that gay identity with exclusively topping. It isn't so much about me wanting to or having the desire to bottom as it is knowing that it is an option that is completely now off the table. I completely know what you mean, and hate to hear that you had such a troubling experience following the 'bottom' induced nightmare that ensued with the blocked/twisted bowel and liver transplant! Yikes! Even if your bottoming was not necessarily the cause of the issue, its still all connected in my eyes, or at least I would have had 'bottomers guilt' (Similar to 'Survivors Guilt but with alot more anal sex, LOL) knowing that the pleasure I gave my man caused the demise of my lower GI tract/etc. and other fully functional organs (Liver).
However, I am so happy to hear your man gets to enjoy your body in other ways; as does mine it seems. Even though I'm fully satisfied, I'd still want to be that full circle type of gay guy that is able to take it as much as I give it, but considering our situation I suppose beggars can't be choosers. In that perspective, I decide each day to either:
a.) Loathe & Resent the fact that this happened to me and get pissed at the world.
b.) Accept what my limits are and try to find the happiness in what I'm given.
And I'm sure you, like me, you'll choose option B., because deep down inside I believe we all want to feel love, give love, and be accepted for who we are.
Thanks again for the reply.