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A few months ago I posted regarding advice and information about an ostomy, since then I have recieved the surgery, going on month 3 with it. A lot has changed in my life since and it's been difficult not having someone of our LGBT community to talk with, I have members of my family who has stomas but there's only so much they can provide conversation wise and I end up feeling alone in this world. I am scheduled for my take down at the end of this month and I am a bit terrified about life after it, what to expect, things I can do etc.. and unfortunately I have no one to talk to as the few members of my family are permanent stoma cases, so I can't pick their brains. If anyone has time to talk please feel free to send me a message, I could really use some help, good conversation and a friend. 

Anyone dealt or currently dealing with acid and what many call butt burn? I have a j pouch & lately I’ve been battling with the discharging of acid and boy does it hurt/burns, any suggestions for treatment and also foods/liquids I should stay away from? Any recipes that I could try as well? I’ve been doing my best to filter through the do’s and donts. Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated 

For me butt burn is usually caused by physical action ie wiping to much or too hard, or cleaning to much can dry the skin out.  Sometimes of you have a bit of leakage (perhaps trying to pass gas) that can also burn... But 9 times out of 10 is because I wiped too hard/much.  Gently blott.. if you must, apply cream and then wipe that off. That helps clean and also moisturisers.  Try to treat your butt like you eyeball.... Touch it gently.  Will probably make the world of difference

As for the being gay thing.. bottoming is probably not an option.. Not only for the above reason but can also do yourself more serious physical harm.. many docs don't even like to give prostate exam with a finger.  I will say I'm a straight guy without experience of this, but I've seen plenty of posts on this forum about it.  It's still perfectly possibly to have a loving fulfilling relationship though, perhaps hunt down Heath or one of the others and I'm sure they would be happy to chat (he has posted on this subject a couple if times from memory)

Hi Bobish. If you’ve read the full thread above, you’ll have seen advice from several people who do have experience of this (and sexuality doesn’t necessarily have everything to do with that). Please bear that in mind when sharing your thoughts on something you yourself say you don’t have experience of.

Cdub, geez can't even try to help nowadays! Why can't straight guys give advice to gay people?  sorry I certainly didn't mean to cause any embarrassment or offence. I had read the full thread and no-one (including those with direct experience) had answered the question.  That said I accept I may have misread/ misunderstood the query (he asks what he can and can't do shortly after mentioning his sexuality and this is posted on the men's health thread, so if I have got this wrong I hope it's accepted as a genuine mistake, and known that I was genuinely trying to be supportive by directing to resources already available on this forum.

I will surely think twice before trying to help anyone in future who does not meet my exact democratic in case it offends someone I wasnt talking too!

Last edited by Bobish

Right Bobish, that’s enough. Firstly, the subject of this thread should make it crystal clear that this isn’t for you. This has to be a safe respectful space and you have not helped that. Secondly, you yourself said you had no experience of this so keep your opinions to yourself if you’re not going to be helpful. Thirdly, the comment you replied to was asking for advice on butt burn and didn’t mention anal sex anywhere. You brought it up. Fourthly, if you *have* read the thread then you’ll see people with way more experience and knowledge than you have already answered the question, and done so sensitively and carefully. 

Last edited by Cdub

Not sure what is going on here, but it appears an old thread has been recently revived and there have been some misunderstandings leading to reported posts. No need to get too touchy when someone is trying to help, even if their intent has been taken the wrong way. Anyway, I am not editing or removing posts at this point.

Let's just try to keep it friendly, including criticisms.


Miguelito posted:

Anyone dealt or currently dealing with acid and what many call butt burn? I have a j pouch & lately I’ve been battling with the discharging of acid and boy does it hurt/burns, any suggestions for treatment and also foods/liquids I should stay away from? Any recipes that I could try as well? I’ve been doing my best to filter through the do’s and donts. Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated 

Hey, buddy. After taking advice from this forum and others, I elected to have an ileorectal anastamosis operation rather than the J-pouch.

But since I only have a rectum's length of my colon left, my stools are high in digestive enzymes just like J-pouch people and I do get the "butt burn" if I don't manage it.

What I've found works is to wipe my butt with "Sensitive Skin" baby wipes, with aloe and lotion elements, after I have wiped with regular toilet paper. If I go one or two bowel movements without cleaning myself this way, I start to get the burn. So I always keep a large supply of baby wipes by my home toilet and the toilet at work. It's less practical when traveling out and about, but as long as I clean myself the majority of times, my skin stays healthy and comfortable.

Another thing I've learned to do is moisturize for a few hours a day (usually overnight) with a silicone-based scar cream called DNA Renewal. The baby wipes and frequent bowel movements can really dry out the skin of the anus and cause peeling/chafing. Neither conventional lotion moisturizer nor oil-based ointments like Neosporin help — they just evaporate and cause more severe peeling and scarring.

But the scar cream prevents dehydration and alleviates butt burn. It keeps the skin of my anus and butt crack as healthy and normal as it was before surgery.

Here's the link, in case you're interested. It's expensive, but worth it for keeping me as normal as possible.



Re: Butt Burn - when things are too acidic for me I start getting this.  When I am under stress I get this. When I eat hot foods...I get this. If I wipe too hard or strain... dehydration does this to me too. And alcohol... OMG gives me crazy acidic liquid.

If the liquid is acidic, then I change my diet up, drink bone broth with salt, take 3 probiotics 3 times a day, bland out my diet and lower my stress levels intentionally.

If the butt is burning on its own or because of the liquid then I use a cream called Analpram HC.  For me this is the only thing that heals it.  I then use the cotton in between my butt cheeks to let sweaty things dry out.   I do not use ANY over the counter wipes as they make my skin worse in a crazy way.  Many things that people can usually use like Bag Balm make it to get inflamed. 

I just got a bidet about 3 months ago, and I do like it.  Kinder than wiping but if I have a sore that it healing it's too strong for it. I find that it can cause some issues with flora. 

Only use Charmin extra soft with gentle dabbing action when using TP.   I am curious about anal moisturizing what a great idea!. Researching this. 



Last edited by Terradon

Hello, I have UC and I only have a rectal stump left that keeps bleeding. I used to love anal play, but I can't anymore because it doesn't stop bleeding. I want it to stop bleeding because anal play is of course fun and helped me to relieve stress. Now I spend my days screaming or crying because my sexuality is gone as well as my state of being. I'm extremely depressed and want a J Pouch in the future and hopefully the surgeon can give me room back there to do what I used to like doing. My life is shattered. Please any info or help.


Based on your comments, it seems to indicate you have already had some surgery and are awaiting jpouch creation and takedown sometime in the future. If I am incorrect please forgive me.

Nevertheless, this journey is a rather long one, with a lot of recovery time needed. Many of us require months and months of healing and feel depressed, devastated and hopeless at times. You are not alone and eventually your body will recover.

Admittedly, while I post from a straight guy perspective, my sex life has taken a hit. I don’t want to get into here, but surgery has taken its toll on my body.

The only people I will allow into the pouch are my surgeon and my GI doc. No other fingers or instruments will I allow in there.

My opinion and my surgeon and many here is that the risk of anything stretching the  jpouch anastomosis is too great and should be avoided.

hang in there, better days are ahead!

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