Mark,
Based on your comments, it seems to indicate you have already had some surgery and are awaiting jpouch creation and takedown sometime in the future. If I am incorrect please forgive me.
Nevertheless, this journey is a rather long one, with a lot of recovery time needed. Many of us require months and months of healing and feel depressed, devastated and hopeless at times. You are not alone and eventually your body will recover.
Admittedly, while I post from a straight guy perspective, my sex life has taken a hit. I don’t want to get into here, but surgery has taken its toll on my body.
The only people I will allow into the pouch are my surgeon and my GI doc. No other fingers or instruments will I allow in there.
My opinion and my surgeon and many here is that the risk of anything stretching the jpouch anastomosis is too great and should be avoided.
hang in there, better days are ahead!