Just wow!
I didn't have near what you are going thru and went to an ileo.
The glass burning anus no sleep feeling like I had to defacate 24/7 and having to work 40 hours a week drained me after two years.
I gave up. I have my cure.
I'm am so sorry to read what misery you are going through. That's terrible.
I'm at an age where I don't care if I have an end ileo.
If I were younger it'd be different.
I'll say it again. As soon as I got rid of the pouch my problems all disappeared. And more than 4 years later I have zero problems. A pouch is not for everyone. And not everyone can live the way your living. I tried too. A pouch of any kind was not in my future.
I'm good though.
I wish you the best but I read some of myself in your description. That's not good. I hated every second of what I went through. Every second.
Richard.