Want baby, but 39 and scared bc history

Hi AN,
15 yrs ago I was in your shoes...I was 39, had had a large number of abdominal surgeries including a k pouch and quite a few revisions, salpangitis and ovarian cysts...not to mention numerous miscarriges that ended my 1st marriage.
Then I met a really nice divorced guy...he had kids, I didn't but was desperate for them. He didn't care either way...
So I went to see my doctors, had HSP test, 1 tube blocked and the 2nd folded over...not a chance...They refused to do invitro on me, my case was way too complicated? I had already had surgery on one that had partially unblocked it and removed the infection...
I decided to 'let it ride'...Whatever would be, would be...I wouldn't force it (I was scared to tempt faith)
I managed to concieve twice, lost both and finally gave up.
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it differently if I could go back? Yes. I would force the issue, fight for a baby and maybe try different techniques...
That was my path...I can say that at 53 I am not unhappy because I have step-kids, grand kids and a full life but Yes, I miss having my own and as years go by I 'miss' my babies more than ever.
You have to follow your heart and your body...if you cannot concieve on your own there are other methods availible to you these days and a multitude of other options as well(adoption, surrogate...)
Good luck with whatever you choose...
Sharon

AN...a pregnancy with a J-pouch really is not all that different than with a colon. Many women have difficultites getting pregnant due to scar tissue or blocked tubes, but your body should handle a pregnancy just fine. At 39, you may have a bit more trouble conceiving, but you could also fall pregnant right away! I would suggest you meet with your OBGYN and have things checked out sooner rather than later so you know if you have any obstacles to hurdle. I wish you the best of luck!

I would talk with your OBGYN and go from there. I had and HSG test showing a blocked tube(had 2 ectopic pregnancies) I am 38 and my doctor suggested we skip all the trying with IUI's, chlomid, etc. and go straight to InVitro. I am now 17 weeks pregnant!!! I actually feel incredible. I feel better being pregnant. My stomach is never upset, no pouchitis, and the bowels slowing down is awesome Best of luck to you!!

After doing well with my pouch for several years, I developed complications with fistula, damaged sphincters from the surgery for that which led to fecal incontinence, pain and other issues.

While GI & OB said their was no reason I couldn't carry a fetus to term and should expect the baby to be healthy, and they agreed a C-section would be in my best interest, Neither could really say how a pregnancy would affect my body. In fact, GI said, "Well if you want kids so badly, why don't you just get an ostomy?" (He's not my Dr anymore!) I worried I'd have to stop the meds that allowed me to manage the incontinence, worried I'd be in diapers myself for 9 months (and knew I needed to be able to continue working, as I was the primary breadwinner and carried our insurance, etc.), and just generally had a lot of fears of further jeopardizing my already fragile health/body. I also worried I might resent my child in some way if that were to happen.

I'd always been fond of the idea of adoption, and my husband, an adoptee himself, was too. I have 2 amazing internationally adopted children who are my world (each adopted at 21 months). I understand that adoptive parenting isn't for everyone, so it is important to go into it with your eyes wide open, but it was a wonderful choice for us.