I am really in need of support. I am having probably a panic attack but I am extremely anxious and upset. I went from being healthy in December to being post surgery 4 weeks now. None of the meds worked for me. Regardless I went into surgery feeling okay about it, it's been up and down mostly up until I saw my GI and my Surgeon the other day. Now I am spiralling beyond control. I wanted the j-pouch I still do very badly but was told that because of infertility rates in women it might be better to start my family before doing the surgery. I was kind of heartbroken, because I won't be starting my family for at least 5 years. I still have to go to school and save up for a place to live with my boyfriend. I didn't want to live with the bag that long, but if I do the procedure to get my pouch I don't want to regret it and not end up being able to have kids. I'm nervous, scared and depressed because I don't know what to do. That and I keep reading horror stories about jpouches, it may not even work if I get one. They call this surgery the gold standard but all I hear about it problems with it. I don't know what the point is of anything anymore, I just need someone to tell me it'll be okay. I probably need a therapist but I suck at talking to people especially about my feelings, also they are not covered by my insurance and are expensive.