Recovering from J pouch surgery while caring for kids

You should definitely have some help for at least 2 weeks after you get home from the hospital since your children are small and need a lot of attention. My kids were 8 and 9 when I had my surgery so they were mostly self-sufficient. And remember that you cannot lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks (that's usually the standard time frame). Can you initiate friends and family to help out? That's what I did since my hubby had to go back to work right away. You will want to have someone help make meals for the kids and do laundry and such.

Best wishes with your surgery!

No pushing, pulling, lifting, bending, stretching, carrying...no leaning over cribs to lift up babies...keep everything possible at counter level including shoes and socks...stepstools are your friends for sitting on (not standing on) and for doing up laces...no kids on your lap in the beging either...(I had little grandkids for the last series of surgeries and that was the hardest part, not being able to pull them up into my lap)....you can train your little ones to be little helpers too...they are very happy to help...makes it easier for them to understand the booboo part...they are close to the ground so they can pick up the small stuff...
keep all of your freinds and family close for at least a month and NO grocery shopping.
Sharon

Definitey engage your children to be little helpers as much as they are able. Little ones love it.

I have my 8 YO son help me with laundry. He needs LOTS of supervision to keep him out of trouble and bending to load our front load machines = frequent leakage for me. He loves to help with the task so it's a win/win, lol.

Thanks for the suggestions! My husband will be able to work from home some, and my 3 year old is more independent. However, my one year old is not, so I'm a little worried about her and how I will get through the day not being able to lift her into her crib or get them both into their car seats. It's the little, everyday stuff that stresses me out!

I believe you need assistance to do this job (caring for your children) for six weeks. This is more than a little difficult, I know, but sometimes a one-year-old needs to be picked up, and you simply shouldn't do that. Think of it as a physical job you must take sick leave from. I think the correct amount of time for you to be the sole care-giver available for these kids is zero minutes/day during your recovery. If you plan for that (which is a very big deal) you'll be able to do as much as you can without having to do too much.

Now is the time to call in those markers that you have accumulated with friends/family...like a rotating schedule or alternative care like the girls could arrange for someone to pick up and drop off the kids so that you don't have to stuggle with car seats...is there no S.O.S. mom? I usually do it for my step-daughter when she is in need (sick, at work, away...)
Sharon
ps...the less you do immediately post-op the faster you will heal and be back to your 'normal' self.

For the times that you don't have someone to help you, can you possibly devise a bed on the floor for the baby with some sort of gate (assuming the 1-year is walking)? It is really important not to lift that baby because you certainly don't want to end up back in the hospital with a hernia. Even though it doesn't seem like it, the time will go fairly fast and if you're able to cuddle with your children without picking them up, they'll do just fine.

I don't have any solutions for the car seat dilemma though.

kathy

I had my step 1 when my twin girls were not quite 11 months. Soooo, I'll start from the beginning:
-while I was in the hospital we tried to keep their schedule about the same as before- home with their babysitter during the day. They came to visit me in the late afternoon until before bedtime. I think that the hospital was overwhelming for them with all the new things to see, new people, and their mommy not looking quite like herself.
-I was really, really weak after the surgery, which I had in the setting of being 10 months post-partum, with not-so-bad UC and and early colon cancer (not related to the UC). Despite all of that I was in pretty good shape before the surgery, but afterwards I could barely stand long enough to take a shower. And, I was exhausted and needed to nap a lot. Having help was essential- babysitter, my husband, our parents and friends. I can't emphasize this enough!
-Even though my surgery was laparoscopic I wasn't allowed to lift for 4-6 weeks, I think. I did diaper changes on a mat on the floor. And everyone who was helping did the child-lifting. When I held the girls on my lap I used a pillow to protect my sore abdomen. And when I sat on the floor with them, I sat on a pillow, too.
-I wasn't allowed to drive for a few weeks after the surgery which made the car seat thing not an issue. The driver did the lifting into the seats.

I was so happy once I was cleared to lift the kids again! Once I was able, it wasn't overly painful, though I did have to be careful.

GOOD LUCK! And, let me know if you have any specific questions.

I forgot to mention... I went back to work at about 7 weeks and my husband and I managed on mostly on our own (with our usual childcare, of course) from that point on.

Thanks so much for the input and advice. It looks like I will be making sure to have lots of help lined up

Definitely you will need help. You won't be driving for 6 weeks post op, so in and out of the car wont be a problem. But, I would be most concerned that the 1 year old won't understand whats going on and you definitely can't lift a one year old. So you need someone who can be there as often as possible to help you and lessen the anxiety for the younger one.

In later weeks, as you adjust to going to the bathroom your new way, you'll want to have a safe place for the little one if you need to quickly get to the bathroom. I might even suggest keeping some toys or books in the bathroom so the kids can be with you if you need to be there a lot.

Is your older one potty trained? Now might be a good time to try - you can make it a group activity!

Oh, and you should be sure to have someone lift the baby into your lap often once you feel comfortable with it and your incision is not too sore. It will keep the baby feeling connected, and make you feel good too!

Hi. I was in the same position you are in. I had my takedown surgery 4 months ago. I did the 3 step surgery to get here today.

My kids were 1 and 4. These surgeries are tough on a body and mind. You need help! I too thought, no I can do this with little help. I could not. I had to have someone home 24 hours a day helping out with the kids AND myself.

Take the advice and make sure simeon is helping. You need rest. Some insurance's will help to provide you with help you need. It took a minimum of a month to recover slightly, not fully, from the first 2 surgeries. My third, I'm still recovering, better lately, but still require help some days.

Heidi

Heidi, I am also having mine done in 3 steps. Did you by chance have yours done laparoscopically? Does anyone know how much easier, if at all, recovery is versus an open surgery? I hear recovery is a bit better, is that true? Thanks again for all the advice everyone. This is really helpful.

I had mine laparoscopically- the biggest incision was right through my c-section incision. But the recovery was much, much harder than from delivering babies. Not even comparable!

Speaking of babies, I found that a nursing pillow was a great way to hold them on my lap and protect my abdomen and ileostomy. Mine is a big twin pillow with a strap on it so it stays put.

My husband also works from a home office so towards the end of my recovery if I did have time alone with the girls he was able to help with the lifting and then go back to work.

Yes mine was laparoscopic. All three. It is much easier, faster healing, I hear. But it is the same for both as far as knocking the wind and strength out of you. I would get very winded easily, for example, just getting out of bed and walking down the hallway to the kitchen. It gets better after each surgery, even if it seems like it never will. Try to keep your faith and patience.

Heidi