i'm new to the forum. my husband was diagnosed with UC when he was 18. when we started dating his condition was a first topic of ours and it was something that didn't matter to me. he's such an amazing guy and has always had great attitude about life and always happy. after we got engaged in 07 he got a really bad flare up and had his jpouch surgery done, his final in 08. a couple months later we got married. when we were dating i have to admit it was hard to get used to the symptoms and the aftermath of the flare ups as obviously he had no energy for anything. we had a semi long distance relationship (lived an hr and half away) so i wasnt able to be so hands on when he was sick. after the wedding he was fine, surgery was a success and he didnt really have any problems until this yr. he has his first batch of pouchitis and was also diagnosed with pancreatitis. the last three months have been pretty rough on us. the frequent doctor visits, test, results and hospitalizations have put us both on this fatigued stressed state. i guess i was wondering, have any of you experienced major anxiety thru the obstacles and have you found that its hard for you to be too much physical? i have felt extremly overwhelmed and emotional since i wish i could take his pain away. but i've also noticed that i'm in this funk where the lovey dovey intimate stuff is not my priority right now. as you know with guys they could be dying and still think about it. i dunno. i guess i just thought maybe some of you might have experienced this and that maybe i could find a place where someone knows what it's like to go thru and have been thru this process from the other side of the spectrum, not the patient but the spouse. thanks ahead.