For those of you that don't know me I have other health problems, mainly fibromyalgia and neuropathy in my feet. I am also depressed, have lots of anxiety and PTSD. The surgeries were the final straw as far. My therapist took me back to the first trauma I had and it was from momma trauma when I was a little girl, decades ago.
I've been going to weekly therapy for over a year. I thought when I'd get super pissed off and screamed at people that was PTSD. Lately I have been having intense anxiety. I just shut down and when someone is yelling at me or super pissing me off. I can't or don't say anything and am afraid to speak. I cover my ears with my hands and close my eyes or just go numb and get away from the situation as soon as possible. I hold it all inside. I think it's mainly because of the way I was abused as a child. If I did try to stick up for myself the physical abuse was sure to start and if I said nothing it might still happen. Nothing I could do would get her to stop.
I've done it all my adult life, for instance in work and other situations. I thought I was just refusing to interact with crazy people. If I do get upset enough I do blow my top, that was PTSD in my mind.
My therapist told me the shutting down and internalizing it all is also a sign of PTSD. I use to argue over problems with people charging me the wrong price or being disrespectful to my employees or myself. Now I let things slide as I figure it's not worth the fight for the amount of money it's causing me and write people off and out of my life that are disrespectful. I think these reactions are better for me as I am deciding not to stress about relationships and make them "work" or carry on with customer service - I just don't go to their place of business anymore. I won't deal with rude people.
So even though you are not flying off the handle, you still might have PTSD.
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