Lol-So I have a damaged sphincter so when Zi have to clean out my system for a scope, it is brutal-guaranteed there will be some accidental after it is all said and done, until I get some food and stool thickeners back into my system.
So, I've got a pad in after and have gone to get some food at cafeteria. Walk to courtyard for some sun while waiting for Dr. Appointment. Gotta go and have an accident on way to bathroom. I had a pad with wings in, but the accident overshoots the wings and I have 2 yellowish spots, each several inches in diameter on each side of my butt. Great. I head back to courtyard hoping no one looks at me and ask hubby to go to car to get me extra undies/pads/pants. Nice guy heads off and Zi am sitting in courtyard reading a magazine.
All of a sudden, a bird flies over and there is this big SPLAT on my arm, the table, and my magazine. I totally just got pooped all over by a bird. Right after I just pooped my own pants. So, if anybody ever asks if there is anything worse then pooping your pants after a medical procedure, I can affirmatively answer yes-Getting pooped on by a bird right after pooping your pants after a medical procedure is worded
Good thing I didn't lose my sense of humor when I lost my colon (or my sphincter!)!