Girls, I am so, so sorry...
I do not have FAP, it is in my family, I lost 2 uncles to it, plus other family memebers to an assortment of other cancers.
I got none of those.
I got Vaginal cancer (not cervical!) due to my mom taking DES while pregnant.
I ended up with my k pouch from a mix of a genetic disease (Ehler's Danlos), the side effects of DES and a bouquet of congenital birth defects (VATERS) that included anal atresia (I didn't even know the correct name for it until a few years ago...They called it 'unperforated anus that was perforated'!
I had my colostomy at age 2 after a 1/2dz failed surgeries.
So...would I have had kids if I could have? Hell yes! I tried, and tried and tried. And cried even more than I tried. I saw specialists, had surgeries, took treatments that were contradictory for someone with vaginal cancer, got pregnant and lost 6 at the end of the 1st trimester almost every time (thank you DES!
And still, I kept trying. I was born a mom, grew up believing that I would have 6 kids and be the best mom on the planet. Tried and failed and nearly killed myself trying and I regret nothing except the fact that I never managed to carry to term.
It would have put my k pouch at risk, surely, it would have compromised my already severely compromised body for sure but I would have suffered it all in a blink if I could have gone to term.
In the end, I had another dozen surgeries for k pouch problems, rejections, falling pouches, hernias and occlusion after occlusion...so, not having the babies did not stop me from getting sicker or having more surgeries. It just made it sadder.
I am now way past the question...married to a man who already had kids that although are not mine, have made me a 'real' grandmother.
You find a way to 'mother', no matter what, when you need to.
I had one of my 13 God-kids along with the rest of my extended family, over for dinner last night...he loves me like a mom and I feel like I am one when he is around.
Did I mention that I am a university teacher too and coach kids?
God (or modern medicine) did not find a way to give me kids so I found my own way...
From what I have heard from all of my girlfriends...I am the lucky one.
Someone on this site once said to me that you do not have to carry a child in your body to become a mom...
Choose the kind of mom that you want to be, and be it...the kids will follow.