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Hello All,

This is my first post but I've been reading comments for a while now.

The reason for my post is that I just got my next surgery date (7.7.14) today from my doctor and although I thought I was dealing well with the whole situation, I am most definitely not. I've been at work holding back tears all day.

I'll make a long story short. Was diagnosed with Crohn's in 1998, had my first surgery in 1999. Had no issues for 10 years and then all hell broke loose. I had 11 surgeries in four years, felt well for a couple years and am now through another round of procedures.

I have an ileostomy right now and for my next surgery the doctor is going to rebuild my j pouch. Has anyone gone through the rebuild before? I'm freaking out because the last time I had a major surgery it went horribly wrong and I ended up in ICU for almost a week while they tried to figure out why and where I was bleeding internally. During this time I had three emergency surgeries in a 24 hour period, none of which I remember. I just have visions of the same thing happening but worse this time because I think this is a bigger surgery. I have to meet with a plastic surgeon beforehand which doesn't comfort me at all!! The source of all the surgeries is a fistula that refuses to go away. Also, the doc said my pouch wasn't getting any blood flow in certain parts which was causing major issues.

I went through the first procedure of this round on my birthday in November (happy frickin birthday to me!) and it went well according to my doctors.

I'll have one more surgery after this next one which will be to hook everything back up and get rid of this god awful ileostomy. That one I'm not worried about.

Anyway, just had to vent a little. My family and friends have been great but it's good to get feedback from those who can relate.

Thanks for listening.
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I've been going to Cleveland Clinic for several years now and feel that I am under the best care possible (Dr Tracy Hull, Dr Bo Chen). My doctor here at home couldn't perform the surgeries that I needed to so he referred me to Dr Hull and I've been seeing her ever since. If this is what needs to be done, I'll go through it again and I have complete faith in Dr Hull. I just freak myself out at times because I know there's only so much they can do and I feel like the options are running out.

Regarding keeping the ileostomy, maybe I'm just too insecure but the thought of having this thing one day longer than I need to does not sit well with me. There are days when it better with the ileostomy than without for sure but I've had a lot of problems with leakage and as a result my skin is very raw. I've had to leave work a few times because of it and I am very lucky that they have been so understanding. They don't ask for details, just tell me to do what I have to do to take care of me.

Thanks for your comments. I go to Cleveland at the end of this month and will get more details on what lies ahead.

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