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My son's friend got an ostomy this summer. He's supposed to get a pull through eventually. Anyway, a couple of weeks after his last surgery he went for a sleepover at another neighborhood kid's house.

The kid had a major accident at the sleepover. Apparently his bag must have come off and left a mess all over the couch, the floor etc. He never told anyone what happened. The parents who had him over don't want him to visit again.

I feel bad about this and explained to my son what happened. I've been through this so I know what it's like. I don't think the mother or the kid are giving this whole thing enough time.

Also, the kid's house smells so bad that my son came home with a headache and reeking of fecal odors and Febreeze.

I'd like to help but I don't know what to do.

Theresa
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That poor kid. How terrible that the host family can't understand and have some compassion. I would say while the boy with the ostomy probably doesn't want to talk about it he could use a show of solidarity. If your son is comfortable with it, maybe he can reach out? It could be as simple as having lunch with the boy. Or making sure to say hi in the halls. Or if they know each other well meeting to play ball or ride bikes.

If you could reach out to the parents to give support I think they would appreciate it. If you feel comfortable maybe offer to speak with the host family and share your perspective.

It's hard enough being a kid, my heart breaks for this boy.
i agree with Jill.

Also, it sounds like they could use extra support and tips on how to make things more manageable....like when you mentioned the house was reeking with odor, he could use drops in his pouch. i even heard tic tacs help, which would be safe for the kid to drop in the pouch. maybe he needs a better ostomy system to help with the leakage so it is reduced, like wear a belt at night. Maybe he needs to also empty more often or set his alarm in the middle of the night so his bag doesn't get too heavy or pop off in the middle of the night. these small things could make a big difference emotionally too. and also reaching out to the lady so she is more aware, understanding, and educated about the condition.

this one incident hopefully does not discourage the boy from going to sleepovers in the future. these things happen and he is very brave! i remember at one sleepover someone threw up while they were asleep or half asleep and we all woke up with some vomit on our sleeping bags. everyone was upset, but the parents cleaned up and we went back to being kids again. mud, dirt, throw-up, poop.... parents should understand! i know a couch is expensive, but it can be replaced, and what if it were your own child? ok, i'm done ranting Wink
I am a big-mouthed busy-body who cannot stand to see people in pain and would not have a problem going up to the mom, inviting myself in for a tea and say, 'you need help.'...and then giving her all of the help that you can to make her and her son's life liveable from now on...I have yet to meet a mother who would refuse help for a suffering child and this kid is suffering. If he cannot live a normal life, is leaking and stinky then his life is pure hell. And he cannot be happy that way. This disease is bad enough on a kid but the downside of a leaky ostomy is positively devastating. So, be nosy, noisy and pushy if needed but help save this kid's childhood...with or without mom's invitation.
Sharon

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