Still single not dating.  Focusing on myself and possible career change.  I have some really good friends around me which helps greatly .

Last edited by stillgoing
Original Post

Haha!  excellent post.  maybe the J-date site, considering jewish people get these diseases disproportionately, could have a sub-set?

yes, the understanding part is so tough.  i've learned to go it on my own and not tell people.   if out to dinner and i need to quiz the wait person about ingredients i'll just say i have the gi system from hell.

about diet--when i had the j and chronic pouchitis i had no refined sugar, no brown sugar, no maple syrup or honey, none, none, none.  also no shell fish.  the bleeding stopped and pouchitis was less, but never gone.  no sugar changed my life and even though i have a k pouch now i still won't eat it.

sorry, but i'm 68 and live in boston.  stick with this forum as we are here to give you support and suggestions.  has helped me beyond belief!  j

Thanks JLH,   I am 45 and since last surgery I only have dated one woman for a few weeks but did not workout.  Right now I just finished last flagyl pill and feel good eating a bland boring diet and abstaining from alcohol.  Bananas,  white bread toast with honey, mashed potatoes, applesauce, soft veggies and fruits. etc. etc...  I guess I was not paying attention to my diet and gained about 30 lbs since last surgery almost a year ago.  I do enjoy drinking with friends on saturday nights but I realize it is not the best idea for my situation.  Have to find other ways of having fun sober.  

Hi guys, 

Not that I am in any way, shape or form opposed to people dating people who can empathize, sympathize or understand what is going on in our bodies but isn't it rather limiting? I have been a  k poucher for 37yrs, since age 18, never dated much pre-pouch due to the disease and had a wonderful, fulfilling dating life for 20+yrs until I finally gave in and married hubby (an imperfect being for sure with his own set of problems but I love him in spite of them and for them).

Although it is nice to have someone who 'lives in your skin' and can comprehend the complexities of pouch-life, I do not think that it should be a factor (although I am very often wrong) in choosing who you love. 

I had a pouch at 18, cancer at 23 and again at 28, fought it for years and survived,  have lived through horrid PTSD due to this disease, had dozens of surgeries and still dated, married (twice) and had a whopping good time.

This is not a criticism but encouragement...please do not define yourselves by your disease or pouch. You are not your disease. You are not a pouch with a person surrounding it. You are 100% you, meaning that you are fantastic, survivors, incredible fighters,  heros who have so much to give, offer and not allow this disease and its biological imperatives to make you stop believing in yourselves and love. 

I have had to fight to be heard, loved and understood, so yes, it is an uphill climb (and I now limp while climbing it!) but so worth is blind and does not see stomas,  does not have a nose to smell the gas or ears to hear the farts...

Please, just believe in yourselves.





as always, a very thoughtful and encouraging response.  thanks so much as it is a good reminder for all of us.  janet

Thanks for the positive words sharon.  I currently finished with pouchitis and doing better.   I am going to put myself out there more and just try to find a nice caring compassionate woman for me.  Wish me luck.  Take care...

Hi DDS from Texas.  How are you doing these days?  I no longer am dealing with pouchitis and continueing to fight the good fight.  Although now I am dealing with a tooth implant procedure which can take months to complete.  Just had bone graft done today so that was not fun at all.  I just didn't get good genes.  Hope everyone is doing ok.  

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