Ignorance is NO excuse.

Oh, Sweetie,
The world is peopled with idiots...you litterally have to watch your step or you may trip over one! Its a minefield out there! I don't drive but the grocery store is my thing...They have a special handicapped line and every single time there are a dzn or more people there who shouldn't be...so, I show my card (priority handicapped card) and they are supposed to allow me to go first...I usually get flack, or worse...And I get pregnant women who try to go in front of me (preganant women are not officially prioritary but 'tollerated' if extremely pregnant...by law)...So, I usually get a pregnant woman who tries to butt in front of me (I walk to the store & use a buggy so I buy very little at a time)...this one gave me grief because I wouldn't let her butt in front...I showed her my card...And she still wouldn't stop yelling...so I told her that she had had sex, got off, got knocked up and it was her choice...my condition was not mine(polite version)...that shut her up.
Sharon

Eric,

You have written now several times about being accused of being a fraud for using a handicapped space. Instead of hurling insults at the accusers did it ever occur to you to politely explain to them the truth? That is probably more than they can handle. I would give them as graphic an explanation as possible and move on.

If you feel you do not owe anyone an explanation, then just ignore them. But it sounds like you do feel compelled to say something and that being the case, why not just be honest? As in brutal honesty?

Also, what if the shoe was on the other foot and you saw someone duck into the last handicapped space before you did. The person looked just like you- or looked healthy and young. What would you think? Would you just move on to the non-handicapped parking spaces and not bat an eyelash toward that person?

By the ways, I am probably more of a hothead than you are, but I have slowly learned how to channel the hotheadedness. Years ago I can recall losing my cool with a local liquor store owner who challenged me for parking in one of his designated customer parking spots. In fact, unbeknownst to this idiot, my friend, an FBI agent who at the time was carrying his firearm, had gone into this guy's store to make a liquor purchase while I lingered behind. He never saw my friend go into his store. I became so incensed that after showering the guy with profanities, I very loudly ordered my FBI friend out of the store because "we are not doing business with this [expletive deleted]" (something I wanted every customer in the store to hear). I think my FBI friend was even taken aback by my outburst, but we then went to another liquor store.

Afterwards it occurred to me that I live in a small town and if that idiot liquor store owner ever walks into my law firm, I probably will not get him to be a client. And the truth is a lot of my clients are idiots. As a litigator, I make money off of idiocy in the world. And I realized my outburst just was not a smart thing to do, and that my hotheadedness needed to be channeled into something more positive.

Honestly, no, if someone grabbed the spot before me, I wouldn't judge, because I hate it when others do the same to me. I may be a hothead, but I'm a very principled hothead. I, unlike you, live in a city of over 6 million, I don't worry about bumping into the same idiots twice. Perhaps I do go over board, but they just ticked me right off. I have, in the past, showed my stoma to people like this, but it had little effect, but when I bark back, they listen. Right or wrong, it seems to be effective. I completely appreciate what you are saying, perhaps it's a personal failing, but after suffering through so much hell, I just can't put up with BS for no reason, and my #1 pet peve is ignorance. Not sure about small town folk, but in a big city, no one cares about anything but themselves, I've learned that subtlety doesn't work, most only listen to screaming, so I've learned the hard way to get their attention the only way I can, by giving it right back to them.

Why would you need a Handicap spot with a
K-pouch? It must not hold very much.
Would it really burst?

No honey, I've had the handicap pass for years, when my j pouch was flaring out of control. I seldom use it, but when I do, it's when I really have to go. I probably wouldn't rupture, but I'm only four months post op, if I let my k pouch get too full, I can't get the catheter to go in (puts too much pressure on my valve), then I'm in big trouble, and it hurts like crazy!

Eric, I understand now. Would a male urinal help to carry in the car and empty into for times when you are out and need to empty badly?
There must be something you can do, we hate to see you get chewed out

Dgloria is right,
I would keep an empty milk bottle with a twist top in the car and a water bottle as well plus a couple of ziplock bags (they are really handy for this sort of stuff)...one never knows when you will need an emergency 'release' of pressure on your pouch.
It can be done really discretely too that way.
Sharon

Well I for one appreciate what you did Eric.

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