I Need Help for Depression

Sorry to hear about the divorce and job issues, the only advice I can offer is to get an ileostomy or maybe a k pouch if the jpouch isn't working. My ileostomy turned my life around completely.

I don't think that I need anything like that, but thanks for the reply.

Firstly, I hope you start to feel better. No one should have to go through the things you have gone through and you deserve to share your pain and disappointments. Depression is just as much as an illness as UC. A lot of your complaints- going to the bathrooms frequently, feeling faint can be somatic manifestations of depression (making your J pouch hard to manage). Treatment takes time so be patient, and if you don't feel like your treatment for depression is working speak to your healthcare provider and vocalize your concerns. Make sure to take time to do the things you like to do. Share your feelings with others, if you are not ready to talk to your boyfriend look for support groups in your area. Also, If you ever need help or support I'm always available to talk.

I was also going to suggest joining a CCFA support group. I joined the local support group and it has been helpful to me to talk to others with the same or similar issues. It was also suggested to me in the thread I started about similar issues that a therapist specializing in treatment of persons with chronic illness should be sought out.

You mention mental fatigue in your post. I was struggling with mental fatigue from issues slightly different and probably not as serious as yours, as divorce and job change are big time stressors. I have increased my level of physical activity and have been sleeping better of late, with more energy to combat whatever comes my way.

Good luck, and hope you feel better.

It's good that you have a appt with a counselor and maybe if the anti-depressants you are taking are not working, maybe you need to try something else. I was recently diagnosed with dysthymia, a form of chronic depression but not quite as severe. I believe I've had this for years, long before I ever got sick. Talking to someone about it really helps. Just because things are going good and we think we should feel OK, doesn't mean our brain is wired to. Have you had any blood work done for anemia or your thyroid to check to see if something else is making you feel bad? Also, I know its hard to do when you feel like crap, but getting into some kind of exercise routine really helps.

I second the exercise routine suggestions. Just a walk in the sun (or clouds!) can help you feel a little lighter. Others have mentioned how helpful their pets have been, perhaps you could look into this as well?

Sorry to hear you're going through this dark period - please continue posting, and keep talking it out.

First things first, don't be so hard on yourself! I suffer from depression with sever anxiety thrown in for good measure. It's taken me many years (and many drugs!) to be comforatable in my own scared, sagging skin! Don't put undue pressure on yourself. It's ok to be depressed, it's a natural, human response to life's hardships. So please, don't panic if your depression doesn't stop. Simply acknowledging it is a huge step in itself (most ignore it until it ruins them). I have my ups and downs, some days I just want to cry, and that's ok too. We're not robots, and we're stuck with a life long lousy disease with so many side effects. To keep my sanity, I try to look at us as heros! Just think of all the difficulties we've been forced to endure, and ask yourself, how many could cope as well? Not many. I'm now 43, I was diagnosed at 20, and have endured absolute hell, but I'm still here, minus a few parts! Lol! I know reading this doesn't really solve anything, I just wanted you to know you're definitely not alone! If you feel like crying, cry, let it out, and never be ashamed, you're a survivor! Good luck, if you need a friendly ear, PM me any time,

Cheers,
Eric

Sorry to hear about your problems with depression. I currently am on Wellbutrin SR and it has been a great med for me. I never responded well to tricyclic antidepressants, SSRIs, or SNRIs either. Wellbutrin is different in that it works with nor-epinephrine and dopamine ... not serotonin. I am not saying that you should go and ask your doctor for Wellbutrin, but perhaps you should try a different med or combo of meds. Everyone is different and responds to meds differently.
Also - do your research if you can. There are so many articles and websites out there that talk about a gut-mind link. Very interesting stuff. If you find an article that seems to apply to you, i would print it out and bring it to your next appointment to discuss with your doctor.
ALSO ... it is possible that you may be on the right meds but the wrong doses. I felt as though I was kind of "leveling off" and that I might need a bigger does. Well wrong! My doc actually decreased me dose and I bounced back immediately! I am not sure what the science is behind that, but it sure did work for me at least.
I would also recommend experimenting with diet. I don't have a specific diet to recommend, as well all respond differently to differnt types of foods (just like meds). Also, fatigue could be from a vitamin deficiency of some sort.
Again, I am sorry you are having a rough time. Overcoming depression is a battle! It is hard to figure out exactly what is causing it - as many body issues set off a chain reaction for other types of body-responses. Don't give up! Try new things, with your doctor's guidance of course. Keep a log of how you feel emotionally and how your gut is feeling. It can help spot trends, which will help you form a strategy to beat this depression.
Good luck! And please know that you are not alone in this.

quote:

I try to look at us as heros! Just think of all the difficulties we've been forced to endure, and ask yourself, how many could cope as well? Not many.

I so appreciate the sentiment. Through this and the many IBD networks I connect with I see so much bravery and such good people. Thanks Eric for the reminder. This is one of those things that belongs on a post-it on the bathroom mirror, (I don't normally do that). We are not just heros but superheros. Most IBD people would give the shirt off their back first, or take someone in who needs a place to stay etc. It's weird that this disease has to happen to such good people. I guess in the end I would rather be me than some selfish healthy *******!

I'd be depressed too. You've been through so much, i mean how much can one person handle?! I hope sometime soon you will feel able to share with your boyfriend. There are always "fixes" for all of our problems but dammit sometimes there is just cause to be depressed!

Lina,

I too suffer from Depression and I have been on anti-depressents since 2006, plus ambien to sleep because I cannot sleep through the night. I am a survivor of child-abuse and know what it is like to suffer internally.

I expect to divorce as well since there is no love between my wife and I for a number of years. I tried in the beginning to make it work, but realized it was a waste of time. Went to therapy on 3 occassions. Wife would go one time and that is it. She is a Narcissist with a severe temper. Wife refused to make changes in her behavior but expected me to change mine. Have been cursed at for many years and treated like crap. In my life, I have no intentions of repairing this relationship because I do not want to go back to that life again. Plus, I would get picked on and laughed at by my FIL, who hated Catholics, especially practicing Catholics and Italians so I had 2 strikes against me from the get go. I never was treated with an ounce of respect.

For a man, at least with me, I would rather be respected then loved. I say that because I have never gotten the respect I deserve.

Wife would always put me down and make me feel stupid. I allowed it to go for so long for so many years that I had no respect for myself, and lost my self-dignity and felt I was not even a man. This came from many years of abuse from wife, FIL, one SIL, and 2 BIL's.

The beginning for me as to what destroyed any romance for my wife was way back on Valentines Day in Feb, 2000. Wife had been complaining that I never did anything romantic for her.

So a couple of weeks went by and I had an idea. I would write 12 lines of poetry on each day of the week; Sun-Sat. Each day had a theme. For example, Monday met that my wife was a MOTHER to my 2 kids and I would focus those 12 lines having to do with her being a Mother. Two, I bought a small photo album at Hallmark and number 3, I printed a male and female Bears from Clip art. I found a site that did this. For Sunday, the Bears were on a date drinking a milk shake in what resembled a 1950's Drug Store. Tuesday, it was the Bears Wedding Day. Two of the days, the Bears were together have their baby was born. Ann by Saturday, the bears were walking along a sunset beach holding hands. The male bear needed a cane, and the female had a kerchief on her head. It was very pretty.

Anyway, the bears would be on the left side of the album and the poetry on the right side. When I read it alone before I gave it to her, I got emotional as it was so sweet and touching. Then I pout one Red Rose and the photo album, which was wrapped in the mail box on a Sunday Morning.

When we got home from breakfast, and got in the door, I told her she had mail. She said mail is not delivered on Sunday. I told her to look. She came back in and read it while I stood behind her, proud of what I did. She did not say anything. When she finished I said to her "It was touching wasn't it?" Her response to me was, and I will never forget it: "Its not that, its just that your grammer is poor."

I didn't know what to say or what to think after I had the rug pulled out from under me. But that was the last time I wrote anything for her again. I wrote from my heart, but my grammer is poor. That is all did in our marriage was critize me.

Don't let these thoughts beat you. They will come anyway because I believe the Devil puts them there so you will be miserable. Pray and pray a lot, everyday. God can bring any situation to a happy ending.

Rocket,

So you have stayed with this woman for 12 years after the grammar comment? No wonder you are sick on the inside! Set yourself free dude! You are not on this earth to be ANYONES punching bag. Please do yuourself a favor and respect and love yourself. Remember you said you would rather be respected than loved? Give yourself bith and then it should follow from others. I know it's hard when you aren't used to it, but with baby steps you can stick up for yourself. I didn't do it either but I started in order to save my life. It is working believe me. I am healthier than I have ever been since I was a little girl. I got UC when I was 8 and people walked all over me. It has to stop sometime. Kick your wife to the curb!! I think she would appreciate it and respect you for it in the end. My ex does.

Samantha1803,

I sent you a private message to explain my situation at home.

You are correct. This life I have had has made me sick with all the stress. And I agree with what you are saying.

You mentioned your ex. How long were you married to your husband and what did he do to you? Please respond to me in a private msg.

Thank you

Rocco

Rocket

My main reason of staying is because of my kids. They need at least one stable adult to live with them. My daughter graduates high school in 3 years so that is my plan to move out then, and hopefully take them or at least my son to live with me.

Rocco