I am so sorry that this is all so confusing and painful for you.
Yes, there are different opinions, techniques and methods of dealing with pouches but certain rules of biology always apply.
Rule 1: Pouochers are at a very high risk of dehydration. We have no colons and our systems a shortened and 'run' quicker than most peoples' so water absorbtion can be a serious problem with us. We generally need to drink more, especially in the begining until our pouches and new digestive anatomy get used to their new functions.
Water is often not enough...you need to add a bit of salt and glucose to it (I make a homemade lemonaide with the juice a couple of lemons or limes, fresh mint leaves, a pinch of salt and some honey or sugar...I keep a jug in the fridge and drink it all summer long...it is refreshing and I get to control how much salt and sugar is in it). Cocnut water is great too and so are some of the commercial products. Do not allow your body to dehydrate...it could be a very serious problem!
Rule 2. Things change. As time goes by you will be able to include different foods and food groups into your diet and adapt them to you and your pouches needs. Some people do great on whole wheat bread and pasta...a largely carbohydrate diet. Others (like me with a k pouch that requires things to be runny to come out of a tube) eat a lot of animal protiens like chicken and fish with small bits of fruit and veggies but very few carbs...it takes time...you need to keep a food diary of what you eat, when you eat it, how much you eat, at what time and with what else (include what you drank with it:wine makes things runny and so does grape juice but apple juice make things thicker and slower for most people for example)...I digest better when I eat a dissociated diet...eating carbs seperately from protiens...when I mix them in a meal things do not digest properly in me and that cause me gas and other problems).
Your diary will slowly show you how your pouch reacts to food, which foods cause gas and make things run more quickly and which make your pouch happy.
Rule 3. We tend to be lactose intollerant. Most (not all) pouchers have a problem with diary products, especially in the begining. For some it gets better over time and they can integrate cheeses or yoghurt into their diets and for others never...it just is.
Diary is a huge source of gas, diarreah(sp) and cramps...beware...introduce small quantities slowly over time.
Rule 4. There are no rules. We are all different, our bodies are all different and many of us got pouches for different reasons and diseases...so we will adapt differently...take your time and find what works for you...it is a very slow process...if things do not slow down you need to be checked for pouchitis...which can often be controlled through the use of antibiotics but first see what you can do with your diet.
Do not dispair..this is a long road and not a race...the goal is a healthy life with a healthy pouch so take your time...some things will work one day and not the next...that is the interest of keeping the diary.