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ok, so I have been catching up on a lot of the posts that I have missed over the last 2 weeks while visiting with the grand kids (10 mntsh & 3yrs) in a Middle Eastern country...

We traveled around from zoo to zoo (what else do you do with a 3yr old in the winter?) and play ground to play ground with often the least sanitary conditions to empty out a pouch that you have ever encountered....(those zoos do not consider the needs of humans as much as the animals)...

My valve is hooking, my stoma is bleeding and I had the time of my life.

Killed myself laughing while holding my grandson on the 'big people's toilets' and marveled at how simple and easy potty time is when you are 3 and have a sphincter!

Now for the rant.

So many of you are expressing fear of using 'outside toilets' (meaning outside your own homes and comfort zones)...because you have gas, make noise, toot a little, hoot a little or splash a lot.

So What?????

Haven't we suffered enough in our lives? Haven't we given enough? (our colons for example?)

So why are we so scared of farting in a public stall or making noise or a mess? Who are these all powerful judges seated next door (trust me...they are just as self conscious as you are and they have colons!) to you at the Walmart or mall that you are afraid of hurting their potty sensitivities? Give it up! Let'er rip! 

Life is too short (don't we all know it well?)...

My pain level is at an all-time high, my pouch is less than people-friendly at the moment and my time on this earth is less that guarenteed. (whose is?)

But I am out there...playing with a 3yr old, going down that darn slide, twirling him around and around (oh, my aching back!) and going to public potties without a thought for the neighbours. (if I can empty my pouch at my step-daughter's place where the toilet gives off onto the 100sqft livingroom and has no sink then you can poo anyplace too!)

So please all...let this year's resolution be to get out there and not allow our pouches or bags or butts or gas to live our lives for us.

Happy 2016 all



Original Post

I agree - I certainly don't give a sh*t about my sounds in a public toilet where nobody knows who I am, I'll never see any of them again, etc. etc.  I just let it rip.  At home among family as well.  

HOWEVER.  When I was working (retired now), I had a real phobia about my sounds - and odors - when I saw everyone everyday and I knew people talked.  Giggle, gossip, whatever.  I didn't like my fear of being noisy but really could not help myself.

Great post and l agree... And may I add...."WELCOME 2016"!!! 2015 SUCKED BIG TIME!!! Was diagnosed with Colon Cancer in the beginning of 2015 with 26 lymph nodes involved! Ahhh ... So after sooo many procedures and going thru chemo, surgery to remove my entire colon and sporting a temporary Ileostomy for 8 months... Had a successful reversal Sept. 30, 2015 ... and cancer free... It feels great  to be able to leave the house with just a pocketbook .. Not like 2-3 different bags filled with supplies ... I don't give a shit who hears me! I feel lucky to have so much LOVE  surrounding ME and I am my own hero... Going thru what I went thru and survived (besides being a breast cancer survivor) plus I kept my hair during chemo (my silver lining��) I'm eternally GRATEFUL... I think you just need to have an attitude with gratitude to survive this journey called "Life"!������ and any prayers!

While away we took the 3 last days and stayed in a nice big name hotel.

On the Sunday I went out for lunch with a girlfriend and her mom (90+yrs) who I have know for 45yrs...hubby called to say that he wasn't feeling well.

Cut to the chase....7 phone calls later and a mad drive across Tel Aviv praying to God & repeating that 'I am not ready, I am not ready to lose him'.

8 EMTs, 2 ambulances and the horrors of a hospital where you do not speak the languge and can't read the signs...(thank goodness for English...they mostly spoke it there)...he was fine.

Threw up about 7 days worth of food in the ambulance and flooded it to the point were we left a trail of vomit 4 miles long...opened the doors and the drives slid out covered in it (hubby too)...But he felt so much better.

No heart attack, just indigestion...the most expensive cross city visit that I have ever had!

Thus my sudden optimism...the fear of losing him so suddenly and unexpectedly and the relief of finally getting him back without any damage (but very smelly!)...

So, Happy New Year once again to one and not waste it because once it is gone, it is gone...



Can this sort of 'incident' kick up PTSD?

Seem to be feeling a bit weak kneed lately...Every time he goes somewhere without me or is out of touch...I feel anxious...And he is practically hysterical when he cannot reach me on the phone (school cellphone use in classrooms...I respect them and thus do not turn it on for hours at a time...he freaked last night...couldn't reach me til 8:30pm...)

My sleep pattern was thrown off too...middle of the night wake-ups (sort of checking if he is still breathing...stupid, I know...But couldn't help it)


As someone especially experienced in PTSD as a patient I will try to help. PTSD is a former of anxiety.  I can certainly see how come you both have a lot of anxiety.  All of this, the terrorism in the streets where you live, health problems and so on would cause anxiety for most of us. 

I'm happy your husband was okay  I would have been on my last nerve if I were you!

Thanks Lab,

I am starting to realize that PTSD has a lot of different faces...sleeplessness, over eating, not wanting to go out, pulling away from people...I am an isolationist when I am sick or suffering...So I lock-down and hide...hubby wants more contact, feels needy  (not his natural attitude) takes time to get over a scare, no matter what the outcome was, the scare was real...


Good to have optimism for the soul!!  I am finally getting and enjoying everythinglife has to offer me.  I bring spray in the bathroom and flush if I'm too afraid of noise while going.  I'm done with staying home just to avoid embarrassment.  It is freeing.  I do scope out all the bathroom situations so I'm aware, but that gives me piece of mind.  I do take imodium to help me stay out longer.  Also no more going with a friend like days before uc.  It's ok to be on my own.  I hope all of you can feel your inner peace and relax enough to enjoy the good in your life.  I have four children and I was bound and determined to be a complete mother to them instead of the sick mommy pictures they were drawing at school.  It's finally working and it's not perfect but this maybe as perfect as it gets. 

Love to all! 

I wanna say I'm new at all this jpouch stuff but for me the last few days were rough I've had very watery stool for a few days then this morning my old ostomy site started leaking a milk covered liquid like a waterfall so I'm lying in bed so I don't have to drain as much if I'm off my feet lying down the drainage seems to slow down called my surgeon he said that is normal just let it drain I don't know just so confused don't know how long things are gonna go on like this before things and my body start to get normal I pray to god everyday that I'm able to get my body back to normal so I can go back to work and start doing things outside of just laying in bed at home

14 years with my J pouch and I’m still won’t poop in my workplace bathroom if a coworker is in there!! Won’t go at someone else’s house if the restroom is in close proximity to where people may be able to hear my “explosion”  All good at Home unless my kids have friends over and than I’ll wait until no one is anywhere near the bathroom!! This sounds nuts. I hold it in and it hurts sometimes. I wish I didn’t give a shit what anyone thinks (of my bathroom sounds) but I do!!! 😩


I live in France, that means that the hygiene standards are totally different than anything that you have seen in N.A. since WWII...some people still have no indoor plumbing but go out onto their landing of their apartment to the 'Turkish hole in the ground" (granted there are less and less but still...), others have their 'powder room' in the entrance hall...which is fine acccept that there is no sink in there so you have to either cross the hall to wash your hand, go into the kitchen or pass the by the front door...and others look like a closet in the middle of the livingroom (living rooms are about 1/3 -1/4 of the size of N.A. ones) sound, smell and hygiene could be a major problem here (especially when I have to go at one of my sister-in-law's) but they are so 'uncomplexed' here compared to back home...they do not care...

They toot and hoot and burp and fart to their hearts' see obese people on beaches in monokinis...relaxed and happy...they talk about their 'outputs' like we talk about sports...the best fart ever...they used to have (horror of horrors!) public toilets on the traffic islands in the middle of the streets...where your feet were showing...people when in, peed and came out...I never used one because of my complexes but everyone else did...

I was at another s-In-law's last water, no choice. I had to empty my pouch before hitting the highway home...maybe 20yrs ago I would have waited and put my pouch at risk...but after numerous painful revisions, I refuse to allow my complexes to destroy my body or is too short to hurt myself uselessly for the sake of embarrassment or pride.


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