I did not have the complications you have been experiencing, but did have to have my j pouch removed due to recurrent high grade dysplasia in the anal cuff plus very weak sphincter muscles. Before opting for more surgery, I suggest that you get a second opinion from a doctor well experienced in dealing with j pouch problems. There may still be a chance that yours can be saved.
While an end ileostomy was an option for me, I strongly did not want the bag with its associated issues. I opted to get a BCIR (similar to a k pouch) that does not require having an external bag. The surgery went very well and I have a very good quality of life. In my case, removal of the j pouch went well, although my surgery took about an hour longer due to the presence of adhesions. Removal of a j pouch is a difficult surgery and you should chose a surgeon who has removed many of them, no matter what surgical option you choose. Best of luck for whatever you decide to do.