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I will do my best to keep the emotional stuff out of this because i know this isn't a mental health forum but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't making me depressed and anxious. So if you read that into my words, please be kind.

I am 41, and it took me 11 years since my last surgery (had a 3-stage) to stabilize my life. Ulcerative colitis pretty much destroyed most of my young adult years and my career. The surgery should have come so much sooner. Pouch works fine but I have mild pouchitis that is chronic and must be maintained with Flagyl so I don't leak in bed or have tailbone pain. (I've been worried lately about a possible prolapse but if it is, then it isn't super severe. I had a scope 2 weeks ago and I don't know if they'd have seen a prolapse that way. GI appointment on Tuesday).

Which brings me to now. I want to have a baby. I don't even know if it's possible. Husband and I are trying to make sure we do everything we can not to mess this up. If we can't conceive with our own eggs and sperm then we'll adopt. IVF is not for me, for a lot of reasons I don't want to get into.

My doctor did tell me that Flagyl is contraindicated for conceiving, pregnancy, and breastfeeding. My friend who is a nurse looked this up and told me that the results on this are mixed. Anybody have insight on that one? Did you take Flagyl while pregnant?

Being 41 is obviously a risk. Having a J pouch is obviously a risk. I've made peace with the C-section thing. I've made peace with the Downs Syndrome thing. I'm in pretty good physical shape and look younger than I am. So does my husband. My period was weird last year (thought I needed ovarian surgery) but it fixed itself once I removed a major stressor from my life. We're both totally ready for it.

It's a thing I never imagined would ever be possible for me. In addition to the UC/pouch, I also came from a pretty dysfunctional family. That's why I waited this long. I was staunchly in the "child-free" camp until a few months ago, when the fog cleared and I felt like I'd finally gained some control over my mental health and life for the first time. Suddenly, being a mother just made sense in a way it never did before. It admittedly freaked me out a bit.

Now that I want to do it, I am afraid it's too late for me, and that I have way too many things working against me.

Can anybody show me a hopeful light? I've read some of the pregnancy stories on here and they seem to be about what I would expect. I just don't know, obviously, which group I'll fall into. Importantly, I think all the J pouch moms were a lot younger than me.

Some days I feel really inspired and other days it feels hopeless. We have actually not even really started "trying" yet because I'm waiting for the GI doc appointment in case she wants to scope me again or CT scan anything and if some miracle occurs and we get it on the first try I won't be able to get anaesthesia or a CT scan if I am already pregnant.

Anyway sorry this is so long. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Last edited by GinaPouchtastic
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Sending you hugs! I would think that if your health/pouch are stable, pregnancy would be a fine idea. I was in my late 20s/early 30s for all three of my pregnancies, but none of them had any effect on my pouch. (Vaginal deliveries too) I did have to do IVF due to scar tissue from my surgeries, but I know that's not the case for everyone. Best of luck!!

Hi Gina,

First of all, never let anyone tell you that it is too late.

Next, only you and your hubby can know if and how you want to become parents.

I am over 60 now (argh!) and was fertility compromised from nearly birth. My disease, surgeries and assortment of pouch surgeries (I have an abdominal K pouch) just made things worse (mom also took DES while pregnant with me. )

All of that just made things worse.

I was desperate to become a mom, got pregnant but was not able to carry past 3-4 months. Again and again.

Had ovarian surgery, tube surgery to opacify my tube, had an ectopic pregnancy (very common with pouchers for some reason), and finally had my ovulation stopped with progesterone for 3 years to heal my tube...then Tried more.

It never happened for me. Prenancies yes, miscarriages, yes...success, no.

When I remarried I was 42. Hubby didn't care one way or the other but I tried, and failed.

It has been years now. I have grandkids thanks to him, 13 godkids, 900+ students annually and am surrounded by kids and kiddie love.

But I still feel that I must have missed a step. I still feel that I should have gone further or tried harder.

So, do whatever you feel you need to do to live you dream of parenthood.

Do not allow fear to stop you. The fear goes away, regrets do not.

My wishes for success and I hope that you manage to live your dreams


I don't have chronic pouchitis issues (maybe 1-2 times a year - at least that I actually seek help for.) I have however had 4 children the first with an ileostomy) the last three with a pouch - all vaginally. The only issue I have now is my bladder keeps falling and due to the pouch I am looking at having to get it lifted again every 3-6 years, so I am thinking about going for a permanent ileostomy.

If you plan a c-section you shouldn't have the bladder issues I have. My first three children were in my mid-late 20's. My youngest was at age 38. 

I found out I have blocked tubes. Based on my AMH test, my egg reserve is extremely low and they didn't feel like my odds of success with IVF were good. We're doing adoption. I think I always knew deep down I'd be an adoptive mom. The adoption process is not easy either.

Basically if you wait until your late 30s/early 40s to start a family there is no path that isn't difficult and expensive. This is something they should warn us about in our 20s...and if they did...maybe I should have listened? I don't know. I was too sick. I didn't even have a man until I was 28 and I had surgery at 30 and then needed like 10 years of therapy for all the PTSD from the illness. So this was likely the only time I could have even considered being a parent.

I hope it works out. I hope the adoption people think I'm healthy enough to be a mom. The pouch is acting up again...

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