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Went to the 'Zen' trade show

Went to the Zen tradeshow to see if I couldn't find something to help with my pain. First stop was a Coreen alternative acupuncturist that uses mini wheels with micro pins & needles that they rolled over my face and brow...apparently the pain in my neck is in my head and the pain in my head is in my hip...as for the pain in my hip...it is really in my colon. My colon was last seen 5000 miles and 33yrs ago. He told me that he could give me a treament to fix my colon? I said no thank you.
The next stand had a man with a hand-held accu-massager that was supposed to irradicate my hip pain...it looked like a porno accessory with a rubber head wearing a red rubber sock covered in nibbies...he massaged my body from top to bottom and then attacked my belly...told me that my chakra was blocked and that it was blocking my colon...told him that I didn't think that my colon was the problem...he told me that 'he was the professional and knew what he was talking about'.
The next stand had an occilating plateform that was supposed to massage my body from bottom up...it nearly shook my pouch off of my wall.
The man with the colloidal silver informed me that he could sanitise my colon and return me to perfect health and the bee-keeper from Austrailia told me that his honey could cure anything...
3 people offered me high colonics and 2 more offered to massage my organs (yuck) from the inside.
I left there with a lighter pocket and a heavier hip...but no less pain and no more Zen...
Apparently the colon is the direction to Zenitude...
Sharon
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