I literally cannot comprehend how much pressure you're dealing with. You seem like a very strong person for having dealt with a Crohn's resurgence on top of the other horrendous things you're going through. If it's any consolation, I'm a seventeen year old who was diagnosed with UC last year. The process was extremely difficult and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but my family and I were able to persevere solely through Christ. The medical professionals in America are absolutely tremendous and made the process relatively smooth and fast. If your daughter ends up having IBD -- which I will be praying she does not -- please let her know there are others like her. Isolation was the single most painful thing I dealt with (something you are obviously feeling and rightly so). I will keep your family in my prayers and hope that things start to balance out for you soon.
God bless.