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trying to figure out the whole changing the bag process

So this is the fourth time changing the bag, only second time on our own. I have a 20 year old girl with an ileostomy bag. This is just so confusing with products and what to do with the products, etc. A quick review, we had a home care nurse come and that didn't work out so well - she insisted on using the adapter ring with swallowed the stoma - after much freaking out we eventually got it off and replaced with a new appliance using the paste. We are on the next change and holy moly is there a serious red ring around her stoma - yikes. I do have the powder but none of the stuff your supposed to put on the powder? to prepare it? Yes, hence my confusion. As good as the hospital ostomy nurse is (and she is) she has a life and is not available on a friday at 5 p.m. Any hints on how to deal with the red ring, any products maybe we should be getting? I'm so confused and honestly don't even know when we should finally place an order for the whole kit and caboodle. Any suggestions/hints, etc. would be great appreciated
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