I will be praying for you and sending good vibes your way. I found a support group at my local hospital and it makes a difference to be around people that are going through what you are going through. Sometimes people that don't have to deal with this just don't get it. I find as I get older I need to weed out the people in my life that don't share the same values/goals as me. It is hard and a lonely feeling so I understand how you feel. A lot of people try to party and drink away their pain, and it is hard to not get caught up in it if you are close to them. Maybe through your support group/local hospital you can get a recommendation for a counselor? I always thought therapy seemed silly until I went to talk to a counselor and they helped me to evaluate my life and make a plan to move forward. I wish you the best of luck. And I don't say this to trivialize your problems, but one thing I had to constantly remind myself is that no one feeling/emotion/situation lasts forever. Even if you feel stuck, things can get better. Try to talk to someone and make one small change at a time. Thinking of you. Know that you are not alone and you will make it through this. <3