Hi Summer Lily
I really feel for u
I'm 52 now & also have FAP (inherited from my mum) I felt exactly like u - I went into hospital (I live in UK) in 2002 a healthy women but like u had polyps & came out with an ileostomy for 4 months then reversal with jpouch. I felt so scared of cancer that I agreed to av the colon & rectum removed asap. Life was hard for about first 6 months but eventually it got better & easier to live with. I av rough days still but often av to remind myself "it's better than cancer". U need time to heal (body & mind) so try to be patient & kind to yourself & ASK for help when u need it.