Perm ileo isn't as bad as I first thought. I woke up from what was supposed to be the first part of my jpouch surgery and informed they were unable to connect the pouch and now had a perm ileo. Shock, fear? Sure. However, it hasn't been terrible outside of ostomy supplies. Those do cost. It gives you freedom and is a life change, but nothing like other life changing operations. I'm only 29yself and single too. I wish you both the best with whatever you decide.