Oh Sharon, my heart goes out to you. It seems like there's no justice that you could through it all with the disease, and then the fallout now. You write so well - I'd partly forgetten what it was like at the beginning, and you've reminded me.
I'm wary of saying this to someone who is going through so much, but my mantra has always been: "everything happens for a reason". There are days when I feel like I'm being punished for something I haven't done, and I don't understand why, and the only thing that keeps me sane is the thought that someone, or something, somewhere, knows, and it's part of a bigger plan.
It WILL get better. I don't pretend to know how, or when, but I promise it will. Hugs and prayers until it does x