So I went back to the hospital. Pain is worse. I also have fatty liver disease somehow even though I don't have any of the risk factors. Maybe it's all those years of colitis meds and antibiotics? Maybe the one time in grad school where maybe ate a little too much fatty food and the years before that where we drank a little too much? I certainly wasn't pounding the junk food and booze as much as my friends but maybe I'm more fragile. I've had good eating habits for three years now. Maybe my exercise could be more intense. Maybe it's too late.
I'm also starting to see pinkish stool. I have a canker sore. This feels like ulcerative colitis all over again.
I think we have to call off our adoption plans. I have to pull away from my family. I had a hard relationship with them anyway because of my UC. They always acted like my personality was the cause of the UC...I was so sensitive, I was so emotional, I couldn't handle stress. That's why I had it. And now it's back. Maybe they were right all along. But either way I'm really ashamed of this because I thought I had my health in a really good place. What a fool was I to claim victory over this monster.