I've ordered a bidet attachment for my toilet. You've all made it clear that's helpful and I will listen. I've got calmoseptine cream. I spoke with my doctor to get a prescription probiotic which will help me afford it. As for my diet, I'm on a low fodmap currently. But all I can handle is rice or rice cakes (plain) some chicken and we made some flax muffins (gf). I have just got some ensure shakes as I know they gave them to me at hospital. I dare not eat more than 2 times a day at the moment as it's extremely painful if I do, and I will bleed more.
I hear you all and I'm listening and I'm thankful for your words.
I've been blacking out and taking some falls lately, I'm assuming mostly to the lack of nutrition. I know my celiac is active currently (stress) and I can't handle too much food. There are malabsorption issues I just don't know how to get around.
I've got an appointment with my family doc to see about some valium ? I've not tried it before but I'm hoping to find some ease of mind and that I hope will have some effects on my stress.
I find it, as I'm sure everyone would, incredibly hard to not be able to provide for my family.
Thank you everyone for everything you have given me so far.