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Surely just let me die

So. I really didn't want to come to a place like this, but my therapist has recommended I look for people who've been there as well. I've spent 20-30 mins just reading on this site, looking for hope. This just doesn't look like there can be happiness anymore. Everyday is pain following pain. Sleep is non existent. How the fuck am I supposed to do life ? Forget work (bricklayer 22 years) that's gone. Forget fitness (boxer) that's gone. Forget food (celiac+uc-jpouch) that's gone. What exactly is there left that could possibly counter weight the endless pain and worry ? Truly if someone can tell me something real and not senseless positivity stupidity lines like " at least you're alive" or " it's all about being positive". It's a miserable existence full of absolutely no help whatsoever. Money struggles and inability to fix them. I am a burden to my family and this society. I wish I would just die already. You know it'll only get worse somehow as well. It's never gotten better in years and years. Not 1 good turn. Fuck this. It's no life

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