It gets so much better! I felt so depressed when I learned I needed surgery. Now, I live a regular life and barely think of my pouch.
I have had my j pouch for 4 years and it is a complete success. I've never had issues such as pouchitis, fistulas or obstructions.
The only issues I had were hemorrhoids and nighttime incontinence. I have the hemmorroids under control with Ilex paste and nighttime incontinence under control with 2 Imodium before bed.