Still afraid to eat

I've been out of surgery over 6 weeks but I'm still afraid to eat. I have been having issues with gas pains and general uncomfortableness after I eat. Since the second surgery I've been losing weight and my anxiety to eat doesn't make it better. I'm 5'5" and weigh 118 lbs right now. I'm very weak. But I'm afraid to eat because I don't want to constantly have to go in hopes of releasing air. I tried Simethicone and it helps release it but the bubbles are still moving around in my belly for hours before I can release it and it's very uncomfortable. I also cannot sit well. I go probably 12 times a day which is more than I went when I had a UC flare. I only went about 8 times then. I don't know how this surgery made me better really? Except that I don't bleed or have fevers daily. Yesterday I felt in and out of consciousness although I had eaten breakfast in the morning but by noon I already felt that way regardless. I've been drinking water. I feel like I'm wasting away. I went to my GI yesterday and he said he will follow-up with me if I have any problems. I don't think I have pouchitis I'm just afraid to eat. I will see him again in 6 months or so. Also yesterday after breakfast I had a higher pulse than usual by noon when I went to my GI. I was tachycardic during my flare before all the surgeries and it was better after the colectomy but now it's coming back and even just walking from my bed to the kitchen causes great exhaustion. I don't know what to do. Even my text now is probably all over the place because I have trouble focusing.

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