I'm a Jpoucher for 2 years now, had UC relapse on 2012 and had to get my colon removed after treating every medication on the market. I'm right now recovering for almost 3 weeks of a huge pouchitis crisis (the worse since I had my Jpouch) and after reading all those nice comments for Ferguson, I feel so grateful to be part of this group. Like most of the people here, I went through a lot of situational depression, lots of physical and emotional pain, but Ferguson, I assure you even the worse pain can be temporary if we can find the right doctor, the right meds, the righ treatment. Please hang in there. I think Sharon is so right. Having options black and white it will help. Maybe you can write in a notepad alternatives, starting with your physical pain, but please, never give up, and anytime you want to vent your feelings, is always somebody here for you. We are fighters, we are survivors, we fought lots of battles and this very rough patch you're having right now, it will pass too. I wish you the best of luck with all my heart.
Lauri 