Hi Valerie. I have had a j-pouch since 1996, and im a 56 year old milf lol. I have had a very similar experience for the entire time until this year. I tried everything. I was exhausted from many trips to the bathroom, but burn, painful gas, bloating, accidents.....but i started taking metamucil capsules in January this year, and it has brought a level of normal back into my life. I suggest you try before giving up. I now go 5 to 6 times a day, more solid stool and i can sleep through the night without accidents, solid 8 hours sleep a night. I can go for hikes, long walks, nothing stops me but tired feet.
Start your day with 2 metamucil caps before coffee or food. Then with each meal, take 2 more just before you eat. If you have snacks during the day, add 1 more. If food is more liquid, take 2, if food is thicker you might need 1. If you decide to have alcohol, take another. Try not to eat after 9pm and make sure you go a couple of times before bed. This is just fibre, not medicine. It is completely safe and has improved my quality of life as a j- poucher 110%. I wish you the best. Give it a try, nothing to lose.