Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss and the unfortunate family dynamics. I, as I suppose many of us in this world do, have a family that has its quirks to put it mildly. When my father passed a friend had a very wise point, it doesn't matter long illness, sudden illness, we are never truly prepared for the loss. My father was in hospice and passed one evening when I was on my way to the apt as that night my mother decided to stay but my brother was still there, as others have said who knows what the process is, one of the nurses said he passed after I left because he knew he could. Always a difficult and dreadful process. Be kind to yourself and know your father loved you as you clearly loved him and he knew that too without a doubt.