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Reply to "Retrograde Ejaculation"

klynan24 posted:

Hey guys, I have a question about sex for men after take down, me and my BF have been together for almost a year. He suffered with BAD UC prior to the surgeries so really no sex. And then went through the first surgery with the ileo and was scared of sex because of the bag. Now he's 8 weeks post Take down and he is still very distressed about sex. Can someone please give me some insight? He says I don't understand but he's really not talking to me. TIA

Hi klynan. I had to really examine the dates because I seriously thought you might by my husband. I went through exactly what your bf is going through. I had severe UC for nine years so sex was pretty much out. Then colon cancer set in a year ago. I had my entire colon removed a year ago today. Thus, had the Jpouch surgery done and had a temporary ileo while I underwent chemotherapy and such. I couldn't have sex then either for a few reasons. I was very self conscience about the bag, not to mention it leaked a lot. Therefore, I was also afraid of having sex. Also, due to the removal of my colon and rectum, I couldn't anyway and my husband feels that he is too macho to go the other way. I am a little insulted by that because it makes me feel like he looks at me as being more feminine. He denies that is the case. Anyway, I just had the take down surgery done in May, two months ago, and now I have trouble functioning correctly. I can get an erection and can even finish the job. However, sometimes it is a struggle to do so and the end result is a somewhat pitiful puddle. Very little comes out and barely comes out. Nothing like what used to happen. I feel self conscience about that too. This leads to stress which causes more performance issues. It's very embarrassing and I don't like to talk to my husband about sex either. When he mentions it, I try to change the subject. I feel like I'm falling apart and nothing works anymore.

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