MCH, this is late (I'm new to the site and catching up). I wanted to add that Benefiber did very little for me, but Metamucil stopped my output from being liquid. On the same day. It's very different. I know use just Psyllium seed powder; cheaper and doesn't taste.
Good luck; your life sounds very hard and I feel for you. And thanks for posting; this thread has been helpful for me too.
Mysticobra, thanks for the Kock pouch and the BCIR suggestions. I didn't know about these. I got my colon removed 1/6/17 and the J-pouch takedown August 2017, so I've had the J-pouch about 1.5 years now. I don't have much pain but my J-pouch seems to be extremely sensitive to food--as in, I'm safe if I stick to yogurt, applesauce and oatmeal. I remember getting my stoma first and eating hamburger, french fries and a shake! Oh my god. So I will see how things shape up in the next year, and if I still can't eat much, I may ask my (excellent) doctors about the other two. Or even go back to my stoma. I could eat. Thank you.