Similar feelings? Yes. Me.
But I got rid of all of it and went to an end ileo. Which is similar but different than the temporary ileo(loop) you had. I had one of those too. Miserable. It's a reason I waited two years to have my cursed pouch. I consider it cursed it caused so much misery. My end ileo is a perfect ending. Many times I thought as pressure built up while doing something such as driving home from work how much easier it would be to just go in a bag. I was right. It is easier and I cannot even feel it. My pouch was slowly killing me. I can look back and see that now. Any other type of pouch would have been problematic if I tried it. Which I couldn't because going thru that process would have taken more of my health away. And if it didn't work I would definitely be in a bad place health wise. I didn't have time to mess around.
But. If the j pouch is a problem you could look into a bcir or kock pouch. Look em up on the internet. People have had success with them. Me. I didn't want to be sticking catheters in to empty.
I'm good wearing an appliance. Some people have issues with just the idea of it. I was one of em at one time. Once I came to terms with it I was completely ok with it. No one knows I wear it and it works well. No problems whatsoever. Just peel and stick. I'm one of the fortunate ones.. It has made me 100 percent better. And if it can do that. I'm good with it. I don't have to watch anything I eat. No pain. (I don't miss that at all lol) and it was painful. All consuming painful. Day and night. Everyday. I've had mi e 2 and a half years now. I feel it has been there all my life I'm so used to it.
Living the way your living was never explained to me either. In the end they just send you out to fend for yourself. I had a good surgeon. She stayed with me all through my miserable years. She fixed me. And I'm grateful for it.
Sorry. Rambling now.
But your not alone.