Sometimes I get upset too, just recognize and let it pass. It's no big deal as long as you are overall coping.
Would you consider setting an alarm for a couple of hours after you go to sleep? Not good for sleep, but maybe better than accidents.
Do you eat & drink together? My dr. suggested keeping an hour between. May help with gurgling.
I have a hemorrhoid that is so uncomfortable. My best outcome is never wiping, washing with warm water every time using a squeeze bottle, patting dry and applying barrier cream to clean dry skin. Every time I go. Skipping even once or twice can start irritation. I think some people have tried using ostomy skin barrier on sore spots.