Part of our stories sound similar as my husband was diagnosed with UC at approx 19 years old - we were dating at the time. It's been quite a life with all the ups and downs, bless his heart. Fast forward 20+ years to May of 2012 - he had an intussusception and when they did emergency surgery they found stage 2 colon cancer. They only did a partial colectomy with a Hartmann's procedure at that time and July 1st of this year the rest of his colon was removed and a J-pouch was created. Takedown is scheduled for Oct 2nd. He hasn't fully recovered by any means from his last surgery and I can definitely relate to "overwhelmed". It's hard - for the patient, but also for the spouse, that's for sure. I hope you can find a way to connect that draws you closer to each other. This kind of stress (we also have a daughter with disabilities) can pull 2 people apart very quickly. Hang in there! I hope things turn around soon!