Codeine phosphate for frequency is the BEST thing ever, provided you are in good health gut wise anyway. I was on it for near on 20 years, only recently deciding to come off it, as I wanted to see how I would cope without it. WITH it, my lord, I probably had a frequency near a normal human, but of course everyone knows, with a J-pouch you really don't want very well formed stool, as it's very hard to empty. Thinking about it, if I had the patience like lots of "Normal" folks to sit on the toilet for 20-30mins or so, perhaps I could have kept the low frequency AND had decent emptying too. I never had the patience for that however.
I have the same thing in terms of social embarrassment, I've avoided relationships, avoided staying over at womens houses, also made sure when I lived in various places, they all had toilets both close to my bedroom for convenience, and also far enough away from the bedroom for "privacy" in terms of noise if I had anyone over.
I am moving house soon, and the new one has three toilets, one on-suite to my main bedroom, one in a bathroom, and one totally private downstairs away from everything! Paradise for privacy!!
20 years later and I still have difficulty wondering how I am going to engage in a decent long term relationship with this sort of toilet noise anxiety. Ahh well..