Thought I would chime in on a few of these things. Remember first and foremost it is a process! He will get there!
I agree with Scott...I always have tried to hold off going to the bathroom as soon as I have the urge for as long as I can and I am 17 years out and can pretty much hold all day if I need to. Also helps build the muscles down there to be able to hold it. I have actually never taken anything for loose bowel. He should get to where he doesn't need it.
Butt burn issue...I only take baths. Do not use soap products on bottom and have found that if I clean with Balneol lotion and use the calmoseptine when I have burning it helps a lot. I stopped having it pretty soon after I had my take down. The skin has to get used to the stronger bowel on the bottom. Think of it like building a callus.
I think that he should get used to not using any kind of nsaid. It is not good for the pouch and can as Scott said cause pouchitus. I miss my Advil and alleve but it's not worth it. Pouchitus is the Devil !!!!
I will add him to my prayer list!