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Reply to "Need advice, family trouble...."

I am sorry that you are feeling like you are being misunderstood. I am sure you know that much of what you describe are symptoms of depression, since you have been in counseling. I am also sure that your therapists have told you that you cannot make others understand or change how they respond to you. You can only control your own actions and try to control how you allow other people to affect you. Yes, I know, easier said than done.

You are correct, I think, in your priorities. You cannot put other people ahead of yourself and your family unit. If other family members and friends cannot accept that, then it just has to be their problem. Unfortunately, it seems that quite often, families (and parents in particular) can lay on the guilt and make you doubt your motives. But really, it IS THEIR problem, not yours. This is especially true when they know that you struggle each day with your own physical limitations.

How not to feel useless and guilty? I don't know. One of the many problems of having invisible disease. Depression is a "pile on" too, because it just makes a bad situation worse. Hopefully, you can find your way out of this funk and find joy in what you can accomplish, and not focus on your limitations. I have had to cut people out of my life who were negative and demanding. It is hard, but sometimes necessary.

NONE of us are getting any younger, so we all face limitations, disease or not! Take care.

Jan Smiler
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