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Nick, I've often wondered how the gas thing goes for other people.  Like Jay, I can't pass just gas standing or sitting.  It's a real nuance at work.

Here's my theory:  The colon absorbs water and the contents are get more solid as they get closer to the end.  We never absorb enough water for gas to slip by.  Gravity being what it is, our much more fluid contents settle to the bottom and the gas settles to the top.  Put the opening at the bottom and the gas has to go through the fluid to get out...

My poor wife.  When we go to bed, the opening is nearer the top and the gas has an open path...

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