I saw that I had replied to this 2 years ago - here is what is interesting - now, I am doing quite well overall with my pouch. Things change - which is why when one is in the thick of it, it seems impossible. I do not work and we live on very little money, but I have found ways to create at home and in a strange way have found some measure of inner peace. I never know when the next flare up or issue will come - but I try to stay in the now - I am thankful for any day that is pain free and that I am able to do the simplest of things. I do not mean this to take away from anyone in the thick of horrible pain/depression/etc. regarding the pouch - I have been there many times. When in that state, one cannot see a way forward or out. It amazes me that if one just stays here....that sometimes, a better place is ahead - but often, it comes with a total change of mindset, lowering expectations, and accepting the now. It is impossible to do this when in the deep pain or depression - but it amazes me that it has passed again. I will think of you and anyone suffering today. I am so sorry for any suffering anyone is experiencing due to our particular ...and peculiar situation. What wonderful support you will find on this amazing forum - it helped get me through a very dark time a couple years ago. It really helped to know I was not alone.