I definitly feel your pain. I went through a long period where i refused to eat. Before and after pouch. I spent most days and nights just posted up in the bathroom. It gets to the point where u think, whats the point in getting up. Might as well put a tv in here. But I truly beleive that staying positive is the only thing that gives you the strength to get through. I know its easier said than done. I struggle with it daily. 8 years post op. I also have horrible period problems. Those doctors wont do a hysterectomy because one my age (29) two so so so much scar tissue. But you truly have to relax, focus and accept.
This is truly a great place to come and talk and hear others. It helps. I went 6 years only talking to the docs about it. My family didnt understand and there was no way i was going to tell my friends. I was 15 when diagnosed with severe UC. I hope you continue venting and getting things out.