Something happened with the ipad, it froze! If you don't want to take HRT, I would try Estervarian, give up,caffeine, and carbs. That in of itself, wil help you. And that may be part of the issue. We tend to cry about nothing. It's okay to feel sorry for yourself. But at some point you have to make yourself a priority. See your primary and get some Cymbalta. I suffer from major depression and major anixity. I get that part. But being on Cymbalta is a life saver for me. It is also used for pain management. And it's okay to morn the loss of your body. I learned that along time ago. I can't do the things I did at 30 either. A year ago I could go to the gym and walk 4 miles an hour, and do it 3 times a week. And lift weights, and go to yoga, that is until I broke some tiny bones in my foot, which threw my hips and back out. I ended up with 2 pinched nerves and 5 bulging disks. I was unable to work, I work retail, I couldn't stand for more than 10 minutes. But this is not about my problems. Something I would recommend is yoga. It has helped me so much. there are lots of different disciplines. Restorative would be good for you. I don't know where you live, but there are lots of studios everywhere. But you have to find something to laugh at. Something I also is find the things I'm greatful for. You realize that there is some good in your live and it's not all bad. If you want to talk, send me a private note. Oh, I'm turning 60 in August! But I'm not letting it stop me. I've almost died three times so I must be here for a reason! Hang in there, try to find the positives in your life, and look for the laughter!