Thanks guys,
What I neglected to mention during my midnight post (2am more like it) was that I cry.
I cry when someone in one of the shows dies or doesn't get the treatment or gets mistreated, misunderstood or browbeaten by a parent etc.
I never cry for me or my losses. I don't cry when in pain. I don't complain when it hurts. I suck it up and internalize it all. I barely ever take pain meds, just anti-inflamatories. I don't like to show weakness.
But these shows let me cry. They allow me to let out all of the pain. I can pretend that it is for them an not me.
Jan, No nightmares, obtrusive thoughts etc...just the usual..;don't suffer fools gladly lately either. Not PTSD, just stress.
Right now I am dealing with some 'normal' problems linked to menopause. My body is falling apart. Ligaments and joints are permanently inflammed. Sciatic. Sacroilitis. Tendonitis. I have finally admitted to myself that it will never get better. I'm trying everything. Refuse narcotics because they make me nonfunctional and block my guts.
I don't care about getting old, I care about falling apart at the seams. I used to climb 1100 steps at the park and was proud of it...that was less than 2yrs ago. Now I barely make it up 1 flight (70 steps) and have swollen knees for 3 weeks.
So I am sort of mourning the loss of hope. Giving up on believing that it will get better and accepting the reality (it sucks).
I never had a childhood and adulthood was a constant battle. Now 55+ is looming and the thought of living in this much pain forever (or worse) has me sleepless, scared.= and despondent.
Jeffsmom, I love puzzles, I love those Who-done-its. I love figuring things out before the Doctors. They take my mind off of reality.
yup, I am hooked.
Am I depressed? probably. Who wouldn't be. I want to be pain-free and light as air. I feel 90. Psyco therapy can't help this. Just a Grey's Anatomy marathon.
Still haven't been able to get in to see my GP. Not availible.
Last Thurs I forgot to take my meds when I got home from Commencement. Tossed and turned in pain all night but couldn't bring myself to get up and go downstairs for the meds. It was horrible.
Someone out there have a miracle in their pocket?
TE, How do you do it?????
Sharon