Skn69, im not sure if you have PTSD or not, but to me it sounds like you are looking for answers and perhaps depressed. My dad has PTSD from WWII. He is terrified of water. And we lived at the beach, go figure! He was part of the Normandy invasion. Day 2. Went he was getting off the ship, boat, whatever it was, all he saw were dead bodies floating in the water. he saw a lot of stuff when he was in Europe. But I can tell you this, he has always freaked out if any of us were in the lagoon at the house or if one of us was in the ocean. Not that he,ever came up on the beach! As long as he didn't see it, it was ok, but if he saw it, he just plan went nuts. Ever since 9/11, he is now obsessed with the news. I think PTSD is more of an intense reaction, I'm not sure. Maybe your interest in all these medical shows is just that. I watch them too. Greys is one of my favorites. House made me crazy, but it was a good show. And maybe you learn something. Just enjoy them! Husbands are a pain in the butt anyway, half the time they don't get it!